For the last six months I have been actively pursuing my master’s, which has meant I have had little time for anything outside of work, family, church, and my school work. It has been good. It has been hard. I have grown, learned a lot, and gained an invaluable amount of insight both professionally and personally.
One of the most fascinating things I’ve learned has a lot to do with how God has wired me, how He has uniquely put me together, and how He has created me on purpose with a purpose. In one of my classes I was required to take two different personality assessments I had never taken. The insight I gleaned resulted in an incredible paradigm shift. Not only did I gain a new understanding about myself, my personality, and the way God has wired me, but God also used it to shed new light on both my past and my present. So much began to make sense in a ways it hadn’t before. I could go deeper into the specifics of what I have learned, but I will save that for later. If you’re really curious, though, please don’t hesitate to ask. I will gladly share!
In addition to what I’ve learned personally, as I’ve dove head first into the world of professional counseling, there has been a lot that I have learned about the clinical side of things–things that have made me immensely grateful for the hope and help I’ve received in my own life, things that have garnered excitement as I’ve paralleled them to what God has established since the beginning of time, and things that have honestly had my head spinning.
Through this whole process I have continued to pray for God’s direction. And while it has been an incredible six months, more recently in my fairly frequent moments of feeling overwhelmed, I have sensed the Spirit’s nudging to realign my focus. God has been whispering on my heart, “Leah, let ME be enough. In me is where you will find ultimate purpose and fulfillment…not in your calling, not in your schooling, not in mindless Facebook scrolling…in me and in me alone.”
And so, I want to be diligent in heeding the movement of the Spirit. This week is the end of a term of classes. A new term starts next week and I will not be taking classes. I will be taking the next eight-week term off as an opportunity to spend some extra time in prayer and listening, digging into the Word, seeking Godly counsel, and writing.
I know that God has specific plan and direction for my life and I am trusting that He will continue to guide. Proverbs 2:1-11 is rich with the promises of God for when we seek wisdom and discernment. In Jeremiah 29:11-13 He promises that when we seek Him with all of our heart, He will be found by us. Such sweet promises to claim and hold onto.
And, not coincidentally, Lent starts Wednesday. I’ve never really given anything up for Lent. It just wasn’t something that was practiced growing up. Last year, though, God used that season to teach me as He walked with me through a journey of healing surrender. As I listen to the words God is whispering on my heart now about finding fulfillment in Him and allowing Him to be where I find my purpose, I have decided to step back from the mindless scrolling of social media and use that time to focus on letting my Abba be enough…not the number of likes, the inundation of information overload, or the “need” for mentally checking out. I want to do things that stimulate my creativity such as writing, sewing, and reading a book.
As I’m reading or blogging, I will share what’s on my heart, but I can do all of that without ever opening the Facebook platform where I would get sucked into the number of notifications that pop up. So, while you may see me occasionally post a Bible verse, a quote from a book I’m reading, or a link to a new blog post, I won’t actually be keeping tabs on any likes or comments. If you’d like to reach out or connect, feel free to send me a direct message.
A friend recently shared some insight with me. She said the Spirit kept bringing her back to the idea of finding where God is working right now and joining Him there. I knew the moment she said that it was confirmation for my decision to take the time off. The work God is doing is inside of me and I need to be willing to join Him in the way He is asking me to do so.
There’s a rest area ahead for me and I am so grateful. As I continue to move forward, I want to be sure I’m not making emotional decisions. I want them to be grounded in my relationship with Christ and the direction of the Spirit. I want to be walking in obedience as God writes my story, no matter how challenging. Making the choice to step back for a period wasn’t easy and I continue to wrestle with the unknowns, but ultimately I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to do so.